Motherhood is a blessing but it can also bring challenges into our lives. Mothers’ day is such a time in the year that women experience different kinds of emotions. Depending on the season of life you are in, you may find yourself bursting in joy and at times, you may be very painful in such a holiday period. This article aims to support those who may find this mothers’ day challenging. I pray that you find comfort and strength as you read through this article.
What Can Make Mothers’ Day Challenging for Someone?
Are you going through the challenges of infertility? If that is you, deep longing for motherhood may increase in the special holiday season like mothers’ day. So, don’t condemn yourself when you feel that way. I will share with you things you can do to cope with such painful feelings at some point in this article. Also, if you are someone that is still going through the grief process of the loss of a loved one- mother, daughter, and significant others in your life, the holiday season can trigger the memory of loved ones and you may experience a very strong grief emotion during this season. I want you to know that holidays usually bring hurtful emotions back to the surface, at times such feelings are so strong as if the event has just happened. If you are a mom having a struggle parenting your children such as having a child hooked on drugs, abusive, rebellious, or completely disconnected from a run-away child or adult children, this season may be challenging for you too. What of the case of moms that are separated or divorced and not have custody of their children or a case where the children blame moms for the family breakdown and not wanting to talk to their mothers? Such experience can become tougher during the holiday season because memories of good old times may flood your heart. What of mom that has just entered empty nest season of their lives? Maybe, your first child has turned eighteen and is moving out of your home, perhaps away from your hometown. This can be hard too and it may reduce your excitement about mothers’ day because this is a new life experience for you. In all these different scenarios, is there something you can do to cope with the triggers of this holiday? Yes. So. Let’s dive into some of the tips you may find useful at such a trying moment.
What to Do When Mothers’ Day Is Hard
There are varieties of things you can do when experiencing painful emotions that are triggered by special holidays like Mothers’ day. Let’s talk about some of those coping strategies below.
Be True to Yourself and your Emotions- I want you to know that being emotional during mothers’ day or other special holidays is ok. If you find yourself in any of these seasons of life described above in this article and now experiencing unpleasant feelings, please, don’t be harsh on yourself or try to ignore how you are feeling. Try not to bottle up those painful emotions. Rather, acknowledge how you are feeling. Name your feeling. It is ok to cry and release the pain than to repress the hurting emotion. Remember, it is not atypical to experience sadness during holidays or special events like mothers’ day.
Don’t Grieve Alone- It is very helpful to connect with your support group during this time. Search on the internet for a support group that matches what you are passing through. Such groups help members with relevant information that can help people that are just going through that particular painful life event. You can also attend events that address what you are going through. I could remember when my grief for mom was still very painful at Christmas time, mothers' or women’s day, and birthdays. It was as if I would never be well again but I experienced great relief after being sincere with my feelings, expressing those feelings, talking about them with people that love me, attending bereavement and memorial events coupled with my faith lifestyle.
Keep Memory of Loved Ones Alive- You may be wondering how will you do this? There are several ways people practice to keep such memories alive such as going through the photo album of the beloved ones, donating to a course that matter to you in honor of your beloved one, doing something you used to enjoy doing together, or visiting a place you used to go together, writing something about your loved one, for example, “why I missed you so much”. You can also journal about what you are experiencing and the actions you are taking to manage the situation. Let me hint to you that such actions may make you cry when you are going through the process, but afterward, many people get relieved. For example, in honor of my late mom, I created free printable posters for mothers and grandmas as well as memory-remembrance posters and make them available online for anyone to download and share with moms across the globe. Here are the links to the free downloadable mothers’ day posters.
Seek Professional Help- Having done all you could to cope, if you still feel the painful feelings lingering on for days and impairing your daily life, consider seeking professional counseling. Grief has an association with depression and you don’t want your grief to degenerate into illness. If you begin to notice that you prefer being alone, not wanting to talk to your loved ones that you usually enjoy their company, please, do not hesitate to reach out for help in time. Withdrawing from others or cutting off relationships and just sobbing most time of the day is not good for your mental health. Reach out for support from your network, self-help group, local or federal crisis line, coaching and counseling services, as well as spiritual care.
Get Faith-Based Care and Support- I am a Christian and I strongly believe that God is your greatest ally, your Divine Helper, and very present help in times of need. Finding solace in His word and unfailing promise supplies you with the strength to keep going in a life crisis. Perhaps, you a believer in Christ that is presently angry with God or feels disappointed in what you perceive as God not acting as you expected, please, I encourage you to get back to His presence and express how you are feeling about Him. He is waiting for you to come. He has a large heart to handle what you want to say and He is full of love and wants to lavish it on you and soothe your pain. Please, reach out to your greatest ally today. You will feel great again. Let me share these two life stories with you to encourage you. In the first story, there was a sister that lost her mom and was angry with God and struggled to sing during praise and worship service but as she kept showing up in the presence of her heavenly Father, it was a matter of time, her joy was restored. In another story, a sister was praying for the salvation of her father for years and highly expecting the good news of salvation to come but unfortunately, she got the shocking news of her father’s sudden death without any prior illness. Whenever she heard the choir sing, “Jesus, you can Move the Mountain …Mighty to Save”, anger would be triggered in her towards God. You know what? As she continued to fellowship with her heavenly Father, she was healed! So, if you are angry with God because you don’t understand why He didn’t stop the unpleasant event from happening to you, I can feel your pain and your heavenly Father understands. Please, reach out to Him. He will provide you hints of what to do in your situation that will work well for you. Don’t settle in despair! You can be well again! Take heart and remain strong. Blessings.
Share this article with moms you know that will benefit from the content of this article with them through email. You may not be able to schedule a lunch date with them due to pandemic restrictions but you can send them these heart-warming posters or send them encouraging small gifts https://reallyposhgifts.com/collections/custom-gifts to show you care and lift their spirits. Nevertheless, just a phone call to say kind words to them, listen and encourage them can put smiles on the faces of moms that are having hard times this mothers’ day season.
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